10 raring2go.co.uk Raring2go! BRIGHT EMOTIONS Anxious Child? When our child is feeling anxious, their body thinks they are in danger or threatened so the fight, flight, freeze, response takes control. It’s important to try and help our child into a more relaxed and responsive state, but first we need to understand what’s going on! So, what happens when we go into the fight, flight, freeze, response? The amygdala (part of the brain) is like the bodies alarm system. We all have an inner alarm system, it helps us to recognise danger and tells our body to react, it’s an inbuilt survival instinct which keeps us safe. The stress hormone cortisol is released and were given a boost of adrenaline in preparation… but sometimes we can receive false alarms which means we can go into this response when it’s not required, this can happen multiple times during a day, all it takes is a certain trigger to set it off. Triggers for children can include things like… • Transitions (activity/place) • Sensory overload • Hunger or thirst • Sudden change • Lack of attention Ever tried talking to your child mid emotional outburst and not been able to get through to them? That’s because our child’s brain can cause their body to have a strong stress response to a situation, even when their logical mind can see that there is no threat. Their right (emotional) brain takes over whilst their left (logical) brain shuts off. They cannot respond whilst in this state. So what can we do? We can help our children in the moment by… Naming what we see. Validate their feeling, help them to put a name to it, and let them know that it’s okay to feel anxious. ‘I can see you’re feeling anxious/worried about going to school. It’s okay to feel worried’. Try to stay calm and soothing. Your child will learn from your response. Be aware of your own breathing, your tone of voice, and your body language (get down to their level). Encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling when they are feeling it. Ask them to describe in their own words what is happening. This supports both the left (logical) brain and right (emotional) brain to work together and make sense of what is going on, rather than the right brain taking over! We can continue to support our children by… Talking about the different body signals that can occur with anxiety - a tummy ache, headache, tight chest, shaky legs, heart racing. Visible or invisible, body signals are important, keeping us safe and alert to danger. Having outlets to express any worries, fears, anxiety. Have a worry monster at home. Encourage journaling and drawing feelings. Have time in the week where you can discuss these worries, problem solve and share your own experiences. Learning techniques to calm the body and mind. Breathing, distraction, mindfulness, grounding and challenging our thoughts are all techniques that can help in defusing the anxiety and body signals. These techniques develop more self-awareness and allows us to consciously respond to feelings of anxiety. Things to try at home Belly breathing - this activates the parasympathetic nervous system (which controls many bodily functions and aids body relaxation). Belly breathing encourages full oxygen exchange which slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure. Grounding - working through the ‘5 Things’ technique can help your child regain control and focus on the present by using their senses. Name 5 things you can see. 4 things you can hear. 3 things you can feel. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste. Calm box - having a box of items that your child finds useful to help them calm. A stress ball, fidget toys, sounds/music, snow globe or mindful jar, playdough, calming scents (lavender, mint, orange, lemon), lights, breathing and grounding prompt cards, weighted blanket, or vest. Remember: When it comes to anxiety, the aim is to be able to manage it, not completely get rid of it. Sophie Whelan Director and Founder Bright Emotion CIC Not for profit community interest company focusing on emotional literacy for children 5-11years. www.brightemotions.co.uk Facebook – Bright Emotions CIC Instagram - @brightemotions_ brightemotions@hotmail.com
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