Raring2go! Raring2go! 22 raring2go.co.uk 23 How to help your child deal with Anxiety Anxiety is something that is felt by everyone. Firstly, anxiety is an internally pushed emotion, warning us of a perceived threat. This may assist you when looking at how to help your child when they feel anxious. Feeling apprehensive is part of being human. Sometimes children can be seen as angry rather than anxious and this creates misunderstanding, which could escalate their behaviour. To help children develop a healthy relationship with their anxiety, we have to first develop our own healthy relationship with it. There is a myth that anxiety is a ‘bad’ feeling, when in fact it is a vital emotion. If we begin to look at it as an alarm clock that lets us know when something feels unsafe, then we can comprehend its importance. Notice there is a big difference between feeling anxious and being anxious. When we feel anxious, our brain will automatically feel it needs to protect itself and can not tell the difference between a situation that is dangerous or something that just makes us feel uncomfortable. Anxiety increases energy levels preparing the body for fight or flight. Recognising signs of anxiety, before nervousness and other symptoms of anxiety get out of hand, can help you reduce the intensity of the anxiety build up. When we talk to our children about anxiety, it is important not to assume that they are thinking the same thing as you. It can be really uncomfortable as a parent to hear our children say they feel worried, but saying things like ‘Oh don’t worry about that’ or ‘That is silly’ may give them the message that what they are feeling is wrong or they shouldn’t talk about it because no one understands. Anxiety can be infectious so check in with how you are feeling. What to say when you think your child is anxious: “ I can see how anxious you are”. When children are anxious, sometimes there is no need to fix it and make it better. Just listening will help. “‘I totally understand why you are anxious” “It is okay if you don’t know what you anxious about” Sometimes children may not be able to tell you what they are feeling. Developmentally under 5’s cannot naturally regulate their emotions and they need the adults around them to help. Therefore checking in with your own emotions is crucial. Develop an Emotional Treasure Box/ Toolkit. Create a physical box of things that can be associated with calming your child. Emotional Treasure box ideas: Bubbles - blowing bubbles will help regulate their breathing Balloons – another breathing technique Colouring books Music: dance, listen or both A blanket / toy that your child chooses that calms them Fidget toys Beaded bracelets Remember anxiety is a really useful emotion, and if our children understand what it is and how it shows up, giving them the tools to manage it, will be a life-long lesson which will help them learn how to regulate it and see it as a friend. PHYSICAL THOUGHTS BEHAVIOUR Tummy ache Chest pains Difficulty breathing Feeling dizzy, light-headed Headache Needing the toilet Muscle ache Feeling Sick Blurry vision Not able to concentrate or think Can’t get to sleep Feeling on edge A lot of ‘I can’t do’ thoughts or ‘this is unfair’ Low self esteem Hitting out or shouting Fidgety Withdrawn Controlling Impulsive Short tempered Crying Frantic Anxiety symptoms can fit into one of the 3 categories listed below. Take time to answer how anxiety may be affecting you or your child in the following ways: Kari is a Specialist Parenting Coach with over 15 years professional experience as a Parenting Expert. Tel: 07434505781 Email: kariannroberts2309@gmail.com You can find her at: facebook.com/kariann2309 instagram.com/parentingspecialist_kari
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